前言:老側美男友人奧蘭治日前電郵來 24 則小幽默,當中 12 則與婚姻及戀愛有關。老側欲借此部落與一眾粉絲分享,以舒緩一下緊張的神經。部份小幽默明顯出自男士之手,有濃烈的自嘲或挖苦女性的味道。既然是遊戲文字,本部落粉絲對這些小幽默內容之是否有道理無須過於認真,閱後一笑置之可也(此說女性粉絲是否接受,老側並無把握)。

原文為英文,老側在此先硬譯為中文,然後在譯文末付上英文原文。另外 12 則與日常生活有關,有機會另帖介紹。

小幽默:婚姻與戀愛

  1. 婚姻關係,指的是一方永遠是對的,而另一方則是丈夫!
  2. 不要跟你想與之一起生活的人結婚,要跟那個你沒有他(或她)就不能活的人結婚。但不管你怎樣做,最後你還是會後悔的。 
  3. 婚姻不外乎給和取。你最好還是給她,反正最終她還是會取的。 
  4. 妻子和我經常達成妥協:我承認自己錯了,而她則同意我的做法。 
  5. 已婚男人是否經常轉換工作並不重要,因為管他的人始終都是同一個人。 
  6. 我們自小說的語言都叫母語,因為當父親的罕有說話的機會! 
  7. 男人:「有什麽辦法可以長壽?」醫生:「結婚吧。」男人:「行嗎?」醫生:「非也。可是,結了婚你就不會有想長壽的念頭。」 
  8. 兩個人行婚禮時,爲什麽要挽著對方的手?那是儀式,就像兩個拳手在拳擊比賽開始前握手一樣! 
  9. 妻子:「親愛的,今天是我們結婚周年的日子。我們一起做些什麽好呢?」丈夫:「讓我們站起來,一起沉默兩分鐘吧。」 
  10. 真有趣,人們討論戀愛婚姻和撮合婚姻。這就像討論自殺和被殺。
  11. 世界上完美的妻子是有的,但都是鄰家的! 
  12. 愛不是待價而沽的,但為了愛你要付出沉重的代價。

 原文:

  1. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband! 
  2. Don’t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you’ll regret it later. 
  3. Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway. 
  4. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me. 
  5. It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss. 
  6. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak! 
  7. Man: Is there any way for long life? Dr: Get married. Man: Will it help? Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come. 
  8. Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins! 
  9. Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes. 
  10. It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged Marriage. It’s like discussing suicide and being murdered. 
  11. There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it! 
  12. You can’t buy love, but you pay heavily for it.